our town auditions

The theme of the week seems to be Too many things to do, places to go, and ways to sabotage yourself. I have to do a map/essay for History of Technology that was due last night, locate the file of a Film Study essay that was due last week, and do my regular math homework, the Quarter Project for Web Technologies, and a series of essay questions on a movie we've been watching in Spanish V (it's called El Secreto de sus Ojos, and is actually pretty good--it won the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film in 2009--if also very dark and sometimes violent.)

And of course there are the perpetual problems, like thinking about where I'm actually going to college. I've been accepted into Knox College, Cornell College, Stephens College, and Sweet Briar College; I'm still waiting to hear from Bennington College, Lawrence University, Whitman College, and Lewis & Clark College. I think I like Knox and Bennington most, then Lewis & Clark and Sweet Briar, then Lawrence and then Whitman. That's not really based one me doing a thorough comparison as much as it' based on, "I felt like I should rank them or something." But Bennington and Knox both have strong programs in Creative Writing (my intended major? maybe?) and plenty of weird classes to take along the way. My favorite class has to be "Conspiracies: Past, Present, Always" at Bennington, taught by none other than Dr. Scully. Yeah, it's Eileen and not Dana, but I still wouldn't be able to resist calling her Special Agent and making cracks about her alien baby. Nerdnerdnerd

Starting in a quarter-hour are auditions for the spring play here, Our Town. I have the audition monologues, and they're not memorized but I have a good feel for the one that I want to do. I just can't decide how thickly I want to lay on the New Engand accent, if at all. For some reason when I try to introduce a few dialectic quirks (sittin', mothuh) I end up overdoing it sometimes. I have to learn to reign in the generic-old-timey talk.

Hopefully having a 68 in Film Study at the moment won't keep me out of the running; I think it's something that will go away soon (I hope it is, anyway.) One of the most frustrating thing about grades lately has been how few of them there are; we haven't had any kind of real essay or test in Film Study, just a couple points for attending a film screening, a presentation, and a couple pop quizzes on vocab. So, one not-turned-in presentation reflect really kills my grade (from a 97 to a 68, yeahhhhhhh.) I know it's my problem and my lack of ability to coordinate things (is there a word for this?) that makes school hard for me, but it's still frustrating when you don't have any opportunities to raise your grade until you've been in the red for two weeks.

Time to get back to practicing the monologue, I guess. I had breakfast today, a muffin and a milk and a tiny box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Turns out those muffins aren't 230 calories, they're 460--because you totally only eat half of a pre-packaged baked item that's liable to dry out like crazy, amirite? I'm not right. Not right at all. It's not that great a tragedy, I guess, especially since I had nothing for lunch, but extra calories are always frustrating.

The biggest mystery in my life right now is how I eat so little and yet remain, as always, fat as hell. Oh well. I guess I could always try to get back into raw veganism, but while it was effective while it lasted it was incredibly hard to maintain at home. I hate being a burden, I really do, and I don't know if my parents would put up with having to buy me all weird other foods (hello, tempeh) in the first place.

Tumblr time then dinner time then audition time? I think so.